Service Concierge for Creating Harmony
Personal Assistant creating Harmony
agartha1952@gmail.com (406) 560-6144
* Organization - specifically in the office setting
*Flexibility to aid with your needs and comfort as you work with your personal and professional lives
* Time Prioritizing and Multi-tasking - working alone with proficiency
Author: Romance Stew ----- on Amazon.com
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Cooking Up A New Life
http://www.dandelion-books.com/romance-dot-com.html
"Don't be afraid and turn up the volume!”
Romance Stew shows the woman I was before I boarded the barreling freight train of life with a narcissistic spouse. (I feel the music behind this segment of story should be from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's movie format, "So long, so long...and thanks for all the fish! which captures the sense of humor) This has been my personal journey of choice using reality therapy. It proved an amazingly swift roller coaster of emotional turmoil. As an optimist and fairly bright gal, my attempt in the last chapters describing my marriage and the menagerie of distressed family members along for the ride was to take the high road, and yet I seemed unable to evaluate that my questions of what I wanted in this reality of marriage could not mesh with those of my partner. Only after much time had passed did I believe the category to have been narcissism. He presented so very well.
At 54, I jumped at the chance for perhaps one last shot at romance with all the accoutrements. Even though there resulted in what felt like earth-shaking anguish, I have become a stronger person...different in so many ways. Now, after close to a year of time away from the madness, I wish them all well and success. Most especially during the year of recovery, I regained a trust in the All-That-Is and my own place in this vast human experiment. But, for others on a similar path, I have added this bit to let you know that you are not alone. Many of us who have tread this way before you have felt frightened, angry, and afraid. Our equation regarding life and its appearance didn't fall into our experiential history and the methods we used to attempt to correct our behavior and the outcome failed to manifest that desired "Now." You will survive. I say this to you with great warmth; you will be amazed at the "you" that you are.
As Paul Harvey used to say, "The~~ Rest of the Story..."
2nd edition...
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| "I love acting, it is so much more |
real than life." ~ Oscar Wilde
From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
The Book: [about the Point of View Gun] The Point of View gun conveniently does precisely what its name suggests. That is if you point it at someone and pull the trigger, they instantly see things from your point of view. It was designed by Deep Thought, but commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives, who after countless arguments with their husbands were sick to the teeth of ending those arguments with the phrase "You just don't get it, do you?"
My Story: Choosing to write about my varied and colorfully dramatic forays into romance, I hoped to leave tidbits of wisdom for my daughters. Wisdom? Knowledge about my frailties, hopes, dreams, love of life, and that oh-so irresistible element called romance. The sage in me hopes that others will see that it is more than acceptable to fall down, bloody ones knees, and rise again.
This time of my life, after marriage to a narcissist, had been a trek through the bowels of the Twilight Zone. I found myself in an alien land - the wife of a man who later presented as bipolar, his invalid mother with Asperger's Syndrome, and a bipolar and alcoholic adult son. I was ill prepared in my enthusiastic dash for one final chance to have love with all the trimmings. The close dynamics in which I became enmeshed along with my spouse left me feeling as though I were drowning in a black hole of unrelenting need.
Letting all my financial holdings be liquidated, always with the promise of "we have the rest of our lives to make this up," I was left out-in-the-cold when I refused the final beseiging to sell my tiny house. The world of narcissism left me exhausted and frightened - there was no empathy for me as a being. I was only a tool to be used. Suffering relationship Stockholm Syndrome, I was cut from the clan as coldly and precisely as if it were a surgical incision. I was no longer valuable to these people.
It was a long journey back to find myself. The strange morals of the group always left me feeling out-of-focus. There are many of us survivors and we are taking steps to reclaim our lives.
Integrity...and so it is....
And the beat goes on.... There exists a more prescient awareness of the changing direction of our society and culture today with the introduction of writings on relationship narcissism from Lisa E. Scott's It's All About Him, Sandra Brown's How to Spot a Dangerous Man, and Sam Vaknin's Malignant Self Love. To include the emotional impact of such encounters and resulting “dark night of the soul” for recipients of this psychological act, blog sites must be included such as that of Betty LaLuna and her Narc Raider on Facebook. Something insidious has altered life perspective across the world regarding a sense of detachment with no empathy. Public social networking has brought a surprising focus to this imposing occurrence. Howard Bloom writes of change in comprehensive thinking and actions that lead to the survival of societies in his book, Global Brain, and these impressively thought provoking encounters in the literary field strive to calmly elucidate the developments precipitating from altered perspective of thinking patterns. Narcissism appears to be rapidly gaining the high ground within a growing number in our populations who simply fail to comprehend the well being of others, as if those being encountered unaffectedly cease to exist once the viewer's attention passes. This takes the phenomenon of New Thinking's “living in the now” as expressed by Eckhart Tolle into a totally alien realm. Our culture is morphing in ways that redefine humanity.
Sense of Self while connected to Something Greater... Choice of Thoughts..... Seek Answers - yes, from outside...BUT LOOK INWARD.... God Speed! Remember to Enjoy the Ride...
My REVIEW of Sandra L. Brown's AMAZINGLY important work - Women Who Love Psychopaths: I was asked what kind of women attract the narcissist (and psychopath) - I just finished reading Sandra L. Brown, M.A.'s Women Who Love Psychopaths. This is an AMAZINGLY encompassing work and I'd say that coming through a relationship of inevitable harm, I found it relief-exploding in the evaluation of women who suffer from such contact. I said repeatedly that I felt my goodness was turned against me...and she categorizes just what and why this occurs....and "codependency" isn't in the mix. Women connected to the strange sycophant actually began the relationship "while impaired" - past periods of extended care-giving, loss such as divorce...even boredom. This is a unique study of the "victims" of psychopaths and their assets such as relationship investment. So many of the traits have been misdiagnosed as attachment formats. This illustrates the predictable cycle of these relationships and why the bonding is so strong - how the woman, normally strong and vital, feels so fragile or mentally ill. Dissonance from the victim's perspective has a great deal to do with the psychopath's dichotomy of his childlike quality and adult mystique, not to mention communication skills and techniques.
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